20 and a Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQM5-Ks64is&list=RDIhqqZN0H7CI&index=2

It`s so nice :3
I have a tiny Christmas tree in my room with Christmas lights, a glass of champagne by my right, I`m wearing my fav. red dress, I`ve lit up a candle and put some essence in a bowl. Everything is so relaxing and nice, too bad I feel like I~m dreaming and nothing is real again.
Today was the first time in years when we actually had a family meal during Christmas and it was fantastic, we laughed a lot at my mum because she has this badluck of getting herself injured all the time :D. My mum actually put the gifts UNDER the tree, for the first time. She called us to come see what is under it too soon but I appreciate the fact that she didn`t directly give it to us again or put somewhere near the pillow/under it/on the desk again. She gave me a beautiful dark red scarf, I absolutely love it!

[awesome cover o.o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqKZ_WIK5ms&index=3&list=RDIhqqZN0H7CI]

*cheers*

I feel somehow numb but it`s fine. I`ll probably sleep soon or drink some more and then sleep. I feel peaceful somehow and I really like what is going on here now. Everything is relaxing and... beautiful.
I want snow, I really really do want snow! I guess I don`t have anything deep to say today :D Yesterday I was sad again because I`m losing faith in humanity more and more but remember, future me: don`t let yourself down. You`ve been through a lot, I have faith in you! I know you`re a strong person deep down, you don`t have to change, you don`t want to change. Be the same person you are and give your ideas of becoming a more dishonest person or chanching into a bad person. It will do you no good and you know that. Please, don`t give up what you are now.
Have a merry, merry Christmas, 20 y.o. me! :)